“I’m so tired!”
“I can’t sleep!”
“No one understands me!”
“I never want to go back into ministry
again!”
“I am so burnt out!”
“Why am I
moving to Florida!”
“I can’t wait to move!”
“I just want to
sleep!”
“No one is actually listening!”
“Will
I ever find community?”
These are all quotes that I wrestled with hard after coming
home from the World Race. I returned
home burnt out and not knowing how to talk about what I have just
experienced. I couldn’t sleep; it
actually took me months to sleep more than two hours a night, and it took
anti-depressants to get over that. I
found myself alone sitting in a house and in a town that was familiar but they
were so lonely at the same time. I
didn’t know how to talk to anyone because I didn’t know what to talk about
without being prompted. People just
wanted to hear about the fun and crazy adventures that were had over the year,
like the bar that burn down, and the Nile river, or the time that I was
allergic to Cambodia.
People didn’t understand me, or what I been through. They didn’t understand what God had brought
me through, nor would they understand what He had asked me to do. In hindsight, that’s probably why I didn’t
really make it public knowledge that I was moving. There wasn’t much of plan except that I was
moving in with a family here in Florida that is a blessing to me, and from the
outside this doesn’t make sense. God
knew that I would need a rest season after a season that ran me into a season
of burnout. You see part of that season was God had to take me out of the familiar to do some incredible work in me and walk me through that season of rest.
God knew that I would need family to giggle with sometimes
like I have with family here.
But you know what God also knew I needed. He knew I was called into ministry so I
needed to have that redeemed. Because after coming home from the race I remember saying that I didn't want to go back into ministry. I just wanted to find a church and find community again, but God knew that I was going further in my journey.
So on a trip to Hobby Lobby one day I passed a church that I
couldn’t help but check out the next Sunday.
And I felt the Holy Spirit there, and it was a literal answer
prayer. This church here is everything that I spent time praying for in a church.
At the moment that I found City of Life Church though I was
only looking for a community to get plugged into though. So I started attending services and still
praying about what the Lord wanted for my life.
God really surprised me and told me to go to discipleship school to dig
deeper into my call into ministry. So I
immediately looked into some that I knew and even applied to one, which was located in Spain. I was accepted and let people that I might be
moving overseas again. However, I found
out that this church that I had just joined in Florida had a School of Ministry, God had
been working this together all along for my good. So I applied, and was accepted. And here I am an Intern with the City of Life
School of Ministry.
All those things, and frustrations that I had coming off the
race, they were about me, and doubting God They were
anxieties when I didn’t see the big picture.
God had it all in His plan just like He has next thing in His plan, even
if I’m being honest I still struggle with stressing about what’s coming up
next.
I am Chosen!
I am Free!
I am called into ministry!
I am heard!
I
have been redeemed!
I
have been accepted by Christ!
I
have been set free!
I
have a home and community!
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