I could smell that oh so familiar cattle smell and I look down and I have a fist full of rope that is tied a bull. This bull is violently bucking backing and forth and thrashing me around like a rag doll. His head collided with mine. There was instant pain. Then, everything stopped. BAM!!!! Someone's fist hit me square between the eyes while I was still atop the bull. Confusion was all I felt. Confused and pain. My head was throbbing and it I couldn't get it to stop hurting.
Then I opened my eyes. The whole thing was a dream, but my head was still throbbing. According to my pain log today is officially day 40 of this migraine that I can't get to break. I asked you to walk alongside me so you deserve an update.
In all reality, there's still not much to update on except that the migraine is still here. I have been to the doctor(s) and have tried two rounds of steroids and several other medicines to break it. We have changed my preventative medication. I have changed my diet and exercise routine. I sleep with ice packs on my head and neck. I have a special pillow and a great mattress.
I don't know why this is happening, but I do believe in something greater. I believe that God can heal this or work something great through this! A phrase that really struck me that I heard in our small group a couple weeks ago was"do I love God more than my health?" And I've had to wrestle through that question with myself recently.
Do I love God so that I'll serve Him just when I'm healthy or do I love Him when I'm struggling through pain, brain fog, nausea and all the other migraine related things? Do I love God enough to trust Him with my healing?
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